Get me out of here.

I feel like I am getting attacked like crazy lately. Things just keep coming at me in a lot of different areas. I'm not playing the victim card because I know I can withstand it. I just have to build up walls and be watchful because I am so weak. I'm so weak, and hurt, and alone, and scared. I can’t shut up and I can’t be quiet inside my own head and it is truly truly driving me crazy. For reasons that I'm not even really aware of, I’m feeling a lot of hurt right now and I’m feeling very broken and empty. The worst part is that no one is around so no one really knows and that leaves me without any kind of support system. I'm so bad about bottling up my bad/sad feelings. I don't know how to call up my friends and say 'things are rough and I need you.'I'm not too proud to ask for help... I just don't know how to do it. I'm strong and I know it. I'm fragile and I know it. There are challenging things I can withstand but sometimes the smallest thing can just completely destroy me. Why? Right now all I can say is that I need a friend like I’m a friend. I need my kind of thoughtfulness to be acted on me.... if that makes sense..? I can't always be there for myself. Sometimes I need other people too. There is so much to do and so much to get done. All I want to do is go to sleep so I can run away from it all but that's not an option. I'm at the threshold of something that is about to rip me wide open. So many obstacles in my way are bigger than I am and today I just feel that I am no good. Better luck tomorrow.