And I said, "Amen."

Oh, favorite. :)

This is what comes from being locked inside my own head all day.

What am I supposed to do with my time? I feel so small. So small. That's how I feel most of the time... in life, anyway.

I feel so small and insignificant in this life. I don't mind actually being it but feeling it is a different thing... ya know? I just hope that I can make my time count. I don't want any awards or accolades for big time achievements... in the grand scheme of things I don't think my achievements will be big at all. I've never expected them to be.

I just want some piece of mind. I want to know that I'm doing something right and good with my life. However, I think I am the only one that can give and accept any sort of validation. It seems like such a sin to waste a life and I hope that I'm not wasting mine.

Know your talents.

Everyone should know what they're good at, right?

I've been trying to recognize what mine are for the past few years and this is what I've come up with (thanks in large part to my place of employment):

I'm rather good at:
hugs and kisses
winkin'
opening up capri suns
cleaning up poop and vomit with rubber gloves and a smile
administering first aide
TLC
babysitting
kid songs

oh... and important stuff, too.
classroom management
planning a curriculum
tracking cognitive development during critical stages blah blah

I left Oak Forest today (a mixed blessing). I can't really say that I will be back for another summer. I'm glad to get away from the chaos (teacher drama and gossip) but sad to leave my students... most of which are about to start kindergarten. I'm attached... what can I say? I mean, I helped potty train some of those little ones! I've had some of the same students in my summer class for the past 3 years. I really value the time I've had and all that I've learned but I think the Oak Forest chapter of my life may now be closed. I don't know that there is anything else to be gained by spending my time there.

So many tired moments.

I've had so many things to say these past few months but not enough time to sit down and say/write them. Hopefully a time is coming soon.

I've always been so good at fighting sleep- it seems like there is always something else I would rather be doing with that time. But lately, I haven't been able to be as combative as I would like with my drowsiness. I hope I don't sleep away the rest of my summer.



Dear Time,

Slow down and let me savor you!

Regards,

Jordan M. Hillin