On life- it’s good. Life has many chapters- some happier than others. In times past I tried to convince myself that maybe life wasn’t as great as people tend to think. But lately I have come to realize that life is one of many amazing gifts. There are times when I get so caught up in trying to figure out the odds of my existence- how easy it would have been for me NOT to exist- things of that nature. For some reason my number got pulled and here I am for one reason or another. It’s pretty commonplace for most twenty-somethings to ponder their existence and purpose- I’m not really going that deep here. I’m just saying that I’m glad I have been able to recognize that I’m lucky to be around and happy to make the most of my time.
On the future- it can wig me out more than anything. However, lately, I’ve realized that stressing about it is pretty much just a massive exercise in futility. For starters, I haven’t always been too keen on my major and where it may take me but I’ve decided to be optimistic and let the road of life take me anywhere and everywhere. I’m young, I’m flexible, and I’m not tied to anyone or anything. I fully believe that you can create your own experiences in this life and that is what I tend to do. I’ve always had a feeling that I wouldn’t be sticking around just one place in particular. If I have it my way I’ll be moving around a lot and living in different places. It can be a scary thing but also a rewarding and fulfilling thing. There is a whole world out there for me to see and I plan on seeing it.
On friends- they are the loves of my life. I used to feel really down when friends would move on/move away. I felt like I was being left behind and like I was being forced to say goodbye. At this point in my life even more of my friends have moved on and moved away. The me of years past would think myself to be very sad about this but the truth is that I am just the opposite. It makes me so happy to see my friends grow up and mature and move on. I’m growing up and maturing and moving on and that in itself pretty much prevents me from being sad. I’ve got my own things going too- but back to friends- No matter where they go or what they do the bonds of our friendship will always remain and the love I have for them will never ever fade. John Donne style- legs of a compass... hammering out gold... or something like that.
On love- more specifically God’s love- It’s perfect and all that I really need in this world. There are some things that I really need to focus on this semester and my faith is one of them. I’ve never left my faith behind but I haven’t really progressed in my faith they way that I would like. I have a lot to learn and a lot to understand. I’ll say more on the subject later but for now- I am just glad to know that I am loved and I will do all that I can to return Him the favor.
On music- my superstars of this past year: Loudon Wainwright III, Joanna Newsom, Neko Case (& her boyfriends), Camera Obscura, and of course, my dear, dear Fiona.
My trying to explain what their songs mean to me fails to fully convey their actual importance in my life. When you love a song, or a band, or a performer like I love these guys their lyrics become a part of who you are, the life you live etc etc… dumb, I know- but totally true. I can’t count the number of times I have sat up in my dark room late at night listening to the words and the music and having it synchronize with the beating of my very heart! It’s true! It’s dumb and true!
The fave tracks and highlighted lyrics:
Loudon:
-The Swimming Song
- Lullaby
- Daughter
- You Can’t Fail Me Now
You Can’t Fail Me Now:
We’re taught to love the worst of us
And mercy more than life but trust me
Mercy’s just a warning shot across the bough
I live for yours
And you can’t fail me now
I live for your mercy
And you can’t fail me now
Joanna:
- All of the tracks are my faves but if I have to pick some fave lyrics they are as follows:
Sadie:
until then, we pray and suspend
the notion that these lives do never end
and all day long we talk about mercy
lead me to water Lord, I sure am thirsty
down in the ditch where I nearly served you
up in the clouds where He almost heard you
And all that we built,
and all that we breathed,
and all that we spilt, or pulled up like weeds
is piled up in back;
it burns irrevocably.
we spoke up in turns,
'till the silence crept over me
Bless you and I deeply do
no longer resolute
and I call to you
Neko:
- Bought & Sold
- Set Out Running
- Twist the Knife
- Hold On, Hold On
- We’ve Never Met
- John Saw That Number
- That Teenage Feeling
- Maybe Sparrow
- Lion’s Jaws
That Teenage Feeling:
But now my heart is green as weeds
Grown to outlive their season
And nothing comforts me the same
As my brave friend who says:
"I don't care if forever never comes
'Cause I'm holding out for that teenage feeling,"
Camera Obscura:
- Lets Get Out of This Country
- Razzle Dazzle Rose
- Lloyd, I’m Ready to be Heartbroken
Razzle Dazzle Rose:
Rose, I’m feeling older
I was lucky as a four leaved- clover
I tried to be happy and it wasn’t easy
Courage my love it makes me bolder
Expecting softness can lead to foolishness
When I choose my color it will be razzle dazzle rose
***Fiona:
- Again, all of the tracks are my favorite. I love them all. She also penned some pretty righteously enjoyable men are shit songs. I can’t help it- I get in that kind of mood sometimes but anywho- Rather than listing some 50 plus tracks I’ll just preview some of my favorite lyrics
Better Version of Me:
Can't take a good day without a bad one
Don't feel just to smile until I've had one
Where did I learn?
I make a fuss about a little thing
The rhyme is losing to the riddling
Where's the turn?
I don't want a home, I'd ruin that
Home is where my habits have a habitat
Why give it a term?
I am likely to miss the main event
If I stop to cry or complain again
So I will keep a deliberate pace
Let the damned breeze dry my face
Oh mister wait until you see
What I'm gonna be
I've got a plan, a demand and it just began
And if you're right, you'll agree
Here's coming a better version of me
The Way Things Are:
I couldnt take the embrace of a real romance
It’d race right through me
Im much better off the way things are
Much much better off, better by far, by far
I wouldnt know what to say to a gentle voice
It’d roll right past me
And if you chalk it up you’ll see I dont really have a choice
So dont even ask me
Im much better off, the way things are
Much much better off, better by far
Waltz (Better Than Fine):
If you don't have a song
To sing you're okay
You know how to get along
Humming
If you don't have a date
Celebrate
Go out and sit on the lawn
And do nothing
'Cause it's just what you must do
Nobody does it anymore
No I don't believe in the wasting of time,
But I don't believe that I'm wasting mine
If you don't have a point to make
Don't sweat it
You'll make a sharp one being so kind
And I'd sure appreciate it
Everyone else's goal's to get big headed
Why should I follow that beat being that I'm
Better than fine
***Sidenote: I could list all the lyrics to all of her songs but won’t. An amazing writer, fantastic lyrics- one of the many loves of my musical life. Last semester I used to skip class to stay in my room and listen to her music.
On likes and dislikes: brief and all over the place- but to the point.
Dislikes: Being a girl and going to the doctor because of it is simply no fun at all. I don’t really like living in traditions anymore. I’m ready for an apartment in which I can cook up my own food stuffs. My wisdom teeth need to pipe down and stop hurting a sista’s mouf. I am kind of tired of this computer business. It is such a massive distraction from real life. I’d rather be living life in real time.
Likes: Elizabeth comes back to the states in less than 2 months! I am making time to read a lot more. I’m pumped and ready for the semester. A 4.0 semester it will be if I have my way. Being back at school allows me to once again workout everyday. I have now lost 33 lbs and I am only 19 lbs away from my lowest weight (not to boast or anything but well, I wanna bragg a little about that one) I’m just plain happy. I’m in the mood to smile and make other people smile. Autumn is getting married next month. I found a good bible study group. Everyday has the potential to be a good hair day. Remember that and you will lead a better life.
No comments:
Post a Comment