Merry Me!

27 days to go until Christmas!

Ok. Here goes. That brain of mine- I did some cleaning up around there! Lit up the dark corners and swept up the cobwebs. Its almost nice inside!

Let me just start by saying "wow." Just last week I grew up quite a bit! Not just a little bit but a lot a bit. The only other thing I have to say on the matter is that the world didn't end and I am still alive. It’s nice to put some questions to rest even if the answers aren't what you had anticipated.

Dare I say that I might actually be starting to like myself? Wait...yeah. I can say that because it’s true. I like myself! What a step it is for me to say such things! After finding myself in a familiar situation I tried desperately to revert back to my old self loathing ways. But my ways didn't work. Nope. Not this time around. I realized that all of my old tricks and hurtful words that I used to beat myself down don't have any effect on me anymore- because I know that they aren't true. Breakthrough!

Also- I have been really flakey with school. Not grades because those are solid.... just the idea of finishing it up made me... flakey. It all just sort of stems from not being sure what I should do in life, my major... uh whatever I have written like, infinity entries on this but ANYWAY- yeah. I have gone back and forth with this education major of mine. I'm sure I still will but at the moment I have decided to take it and just run run run with it. Elizabeth and I have talked about teaching over in England (which is something that I would really love love to do) and I plan on investigating this matter further. Part of the reason why I was so unsure about this major is because there were times when my future would flash before my eyes- student teaching in a place like Keller, getting an apartment by myself, a sad pathetic cat, tv dinners, Texas forever. Not my cup of tea, that scenario. But it doesn't have to be that way. It’s a nice feeling- this can-do feeling. I’m young, I’m not tied to anyone or anything. It’s time to start enjoying myself and the path that I have found myself on.

You know what else is nice? Losing weight. I’m down 25 lbs since August. Score.

Cheers.

I tried about two or three times to write some stuff down but I just can't right now. There is simply too much to say. Some good, some bad, some just... blah. But the overall tone would have been/will be pretty positive.



One time when I was little I was watching an episode of the Muppet Babies cartoon. There was talk about writers block. One of the Muppet babies began to daydream and envisioned he/she walking down a path and coming upon an alphabet block lost among a tangle of grass and weeds. So now, all these years later, when I think about writers block I think about the Muppet babies and alphabet blocks.

more substantial stuff later. i'm off to make myself a s'more.