More.

I've got a lot of thoughts going through my head right now. I'm feeling a lot of different things all at once.

For starters, it is finally setting in that Elizabeth is going to Newcastle. The past few nights have been really emotional for me. When I start to settle in for the night it will just pop into my head that she will be gone soon. I know that I can visit her (for a price and a very expensive price at that) but it won't be the same. And then when I think about Elizabeth I start to think about my other friends and how a lot of them will soon be starting there sort of official adult lives...careers, marriages, moving away. I feel so left behind. I don't know how to catch up. I don't know what I'm good at, I don't know if I'm good enough for anyone, and I don't know where I'll end up. I am ready to start my life (just like everyone else seems to be doing) but I don't know how. It's frustrating.

I really hate what my vanity is doing to me. It's making me hate myself. Gah... what a dumb girl.

I'm still being positive though, right? I'm still excited about the semester, right? Yeah. Yeah I am. Ok. good.